The Elegant Executive Blog

Destructive Delusions #7

7. Avoidance: “It’s easier to avoid facing difficulties and self-responsibilities than to do something about them.” Procrastination falls under this delusion, as does the idea that ignoring problems makes them go away. If only! Doing what needs to be done, facing issues squarely and taking responsibility head on are the signs of a fully actualized person. It gets easier to do this with practice. If you yourself play the avoidance game, start making changes with small steps and you’ll see that dealing with problems straight away is far less onerous than postponing the inevitable.

Email Etiquette Teleseminar – a hit!

Our FREE monthly Elegant Executive Teleseminar Series started with a bang yesterday with over 100 registered listeners! Email Etiquette was the topic and it’s clear that many people wanted to learn how to make their email messages stand out with courtesy and clarity. If you haven’t already signed up for our Elegant Executive series, please do so today! Not sure if it’s worth 30 minutes of your time? Here are some testimonials from yesterday’s program: “Excellent  teleseminar, Gretchen, I hope I can join the next one.” “I loved your teleseminar. Very informative, clear and concise. Exactly what you advised listeners…

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Transitioning from Employee to Manager Requires More Than a Better Suit

Today’s post is courtesy of HR expert extraordinaire, Roberta Chinsky Matuson They say it’s the suit that makes the man or the woman, but I believe it’s what’s inside that really matters. Now don’t get me wrong. You still have to dress the part if you want to be taken seriously. However, that’s just one dimension of leading with authority. Presenting yourself as a strong confident leader requires the belief that you really belong in the position that you’ve been awarded. Getting the position is one thing. Keeping it is quite another. Follow my top ten tips on managing up…

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Destructive Delusions #6

6. Worry, Fret, and Fear: “If something seems dangerous or fearsome, I must preoccupy myself with it and make myself anxious about it.” Are you an expert when it comes to playing the anxiety tape over and over in your head, convincing yourself that something is dangerous and fearsome? If worry did anyone any good, I’d be all for it, but it only serves to make the worrier, and often those around her, miserable. So much of life is out of our hands completely, so it makes sense to drop the worry beads, and trust that the world is unfolding…

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Direction from a Diva

Professional poise and a dose of diva is a great blog post from colleague and friend, Caroline Dowd-Higgins available here. While you’re at it, take a look at Caroline’s new book, This Is Not the Career I Ordered, chock full of stories of successful career reinventions. A former opera singer, Caroline has transformed herself into a career coach, author, speaker and media host. This book is perfect for those of you wondering if 2012 is the year to take that leap of faith and reinvent yourself.

Destructive Delusions #5

5. Others Cause Misery: “My emotional misery comes from external pressures that I have little ability to change.” It’s known as the blame game and most of us participate in pointing fingers at others when the trouble lies within. Most unhappiness and misery is a direct result of the choices we make day to day, year to year. Accepting that we are responsible for our own happiness is the first step toward full fledged adulthood and genuine contentment. When you think the thought, “I’m miserable because of what he or she is doing,” think again, and honestly look at how your thinking…

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Free Elegant ExecutiveTeleseminar Series for 2012

For three years, Neels & Company was a content provider to West LegalEdCenter, the largest provider of online continuing legal education in the country. We loved doing the programs for West, and wish to continue providing soft-skills training to a broader audience. Our new Elegant Executive Teleseminar Series is comprised of monthly half-hour programs designed to enhance the softer side of your career. We’ll offer tips, information and advice to make you a more effective and elegant executive. Our teleseminars are offered on the first Thursday of each month from 12:00 -12:30 (Eastern Time). Registration is required, but these professional…

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Destructive Delusions #4

4. Catastrophize: “When I get very frustrated, treated unfairly or rejected, I have to view things as awful, terrible, horrible and catastrophic.” Drama queens (and kings!) are expert at turning small incidents into big-time disasters. Do you make mole hills into mountains requiring lots of energy and effort? Do you get others into the mix, convincing them of the catastrophy? Check your thinking and if the words “awful, terrible, horrible and catastrophic” come up often, it’s time to regroup and keep things in perspective.

What’s Worse than Flip-flops?

I grew up in St. Petersburg, Florida, where flip-flops were what we kids wore to the beach, pool and around the neighborhood when we weren’t wearing our roller skates. These plastic, quasi-disposable “shoes” were merely a means to avoid blisteringly hot sand and black-top, otherwise we were happy to be barefoot. No adults ever wore them past the swimming pool parking lot. Whenever I see professionals wearing these play shoes with skirts, dresses or pants, I cringe. The message they are sending is “I’m really a kid at heart and frankly, would rather be barefoot.” I’m not so sure that’s…

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Destructive Delusions #3

3. Changing Others: “I have an obligation to change others who act unfairly or obnoxiously.” It’s impossible to change another person’s thinking, behavior or outlook. We can share information that may have an impact on one’s thinking, behavior, or outlook, but the recipient has to be ready to hear it and act upon it. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. If you feel that it’s an obligation to “fix” someone at work or home, stop right now and think about all the faults and shortcomings you have that could benefit from this energy instead….

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